This is why I am slacking...

And sorry to all of my faithful followers (aka friends and family) this is why I have been slacking on posts lately. My super awesome, feels-and-looks-like-I'm-in-4th grade-again visual depiction for a school project of Reb Livington's "Fourth Chronicle of Marriage" from her collection God Damsel published by No Tell Books. It was an interesting, mind-bending read, and if you feel like being brain f***** by a "misused zucchini"* any time soon I suggest you check it out.

*Indicates that I mean said statement with awe, admiration, and confusion.

I also have to finish reading a novel, write a paper, and take a quiz today, so I'm a little behind. Went an saw Dodie Bellamy as part of EMU's Bathhouse Reading Series, she is AWESOME! So check these insightful, witty, and talented women out!

A Brief Logical Analysis of Cinderella

If they called her Cinderella, then they don't remember her real name.
All characters in "Cinderella" have deplorable qualities.
Some of the characters have charming qualities.
If Cinderella married a Prince, then wouldn't her name change?
If Cinderella danced in glass slippers, then she has very skinny legs, or her legs are ergonomically designed.
If you are pitiable, then a fairy god mother will appear, if and only if you have handled the abuse tolerably well.
Some characters cut off parts of their feet, but others don't seem to notice.
How charming is a prince if he cannot tell you apart from anyone else, except by the size of your feet?
If Prince Charming was so concentrated on her feet, then he might have had a foot fetish.
Wouldn't Cinderella have disgusting feet, she was a maid after all (lots of walking, probably no shoes).
You will live happily ever after, if and only if your life was insanely shitty at on point.
If the (step)mother and (step)sisters were so envious of Cinderella, then why didn't they get off their asses and help her clean?
Either the story is a German folk story or it is Disney.
If that woman is a fairy god mother, either she likes to half-ass her job or her shift ends at midnight.
Either her family didn't recognize Cinderella at the ball, or they need glasses (no pun intended), or they are just really stupid.